In Memory of my Brother, Christopher

Many of you who read this blog already know that I lost my brother Chris in a farming accident on April 4th. In some ways it still seems like a really bad dream...our perceived natural order of things is shaken when someone so young and so full of potential dies. The thought of going home for a visit and not being greeted by Chris's huge smile and some off the wall joke just doesn't seem possible.
Chris had one of those personalities that filled a room. Everyone felt loved and accepted by Chris. People who were close to Chris weren' t the only ones who were touched by him, even casual acquaintances were impacted by Chris as was attested by the attendance at his funeral of almost 1,000 people. Chris had a way of making everyone feel that they were the most important person to him.

As his family, we have been amazed at the outpouring of entries on Chris's facebook page and the memories written down at his memorial service. One of Chris's college friends said that Chris was the only guy he knew that never had a negative thing to say about others. Chris was authentic in all areas of his life. The kind, thoughtful, loving, funny, brother that I grew up with; is the same person that is remembered by those who knew him in all seasons of his life.

Chris will always be remembered for his funny, easy-going style, but there was also a depth and an intensity about him that you couldn't miss if you spent any length of time with him. Chris took his relationship with the Lord and others very seriously. One of his life verses was:

"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord with a pure heart." II Timothy 2:22

Another verse that comes immediately to my mind when I think of Chris is: Timothy 4:12:
" Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, and in purity."

Chris was wise beyond his 24 years, he was very much a leader and a person that was looked to by many for guidance. Chris worked hard to keep all of his relationships in good standing. He truly thought the best of people and strived to serve the Lord in even the little things. His positive attitude towards life and people is one that I have always admired, and now more than ever want to emulate.

There was never a dull moment growing up with Chris. Even as a child Chris worked hard to "live at peace with everyone" (even siblings). I know that this probably wasn't always easy with me, but I honestly don't remember ever fighting with Chris. Chris was not a push over, he just had a natural ability to keep the peace without compromising what was important. Chris never needed a reminder to not sweat the small stuff, he did it naturally. A recent story that Chris's wife Jodi shared with us shows both Chris's easy-going nature and humor. One night when it was particularly windy outside, Jodi woke Chris up to ask him if they should go to the basement in case the wind turned into a tornado. (a legitimate concern in KS). Chris rolled over and told her"Go ahead, I'm not getting out of bed I have life insurance."

One of Chris's greatest joys was making us laugh and smile. Chris had a joke for every situation, and a natural knack for dispelling potentially explosive situations. I remember being disappointed when I found out that Chris was not the sister I had been hoping and fervently praying for. It didn't take long for Chris to win me over and for me to realize that he was so much better than a sister.

Chris was always completely thoughtful of others. While Jason was in the Air Force and deployed for six months, I would often go home and visit my family. During this time, Chris reached out to Ava and I in so many ways. He would take time off from work to play with Ava and even invited me out with him and Jodi on date night. My Dad said recently that all of the memories of Chris are good ones...I agree.

Chris married Jodi in October or 2005. Our whole family enjoyed watching Chris and Jodi, they were very much in love and made for each other. In August, 2007, Dakota Ryan was born. I loved watching Chris with both Dakota and Jodi, his love for them was so evident in all of the kisses and attention that he so easily displayed. He was a wonderful husband and father and as I think about my loss as a sister, I can't even begin to imagine the loss for Jodi and Dakota.

As I write this, it seems such an inadequate description of such an extraordinary life...Chris's life was not long, but it was full and lived with passion and joy. A family friend shared that at the time of death, material possessions and accomplishments are not the things that show a life's significance, it's the people who have been touched, the relationships. Chris's life was full of people that were changed and uplifted by his friendship and love.

Our prayer as a family is that in death as in life, Chris will continue to impact those who knew him. Chris had recently shared his faith with a college friend and there were a couple of other individuals that Chris was praying for and had felt led to share his faith with at other times. For those of us who have already trusted Christ as our personal Savior, Chris's life is a poignant reminder to live each day with intention and an eternal perspective. While Chris's untimely death seems so senseless, I know that the Lord is in control and I am thankful for the assurance that I will see Chris again.